kindergarten

These little cuties started kindergarten today.  How did that happen?

They picked out their clothes last night and we laid them out in piles on the toychest.  As Aida pulled her shirt over her head this morning she noticed her pocket.  These girls love pockets because these girls love tiny treasures that fit inside pockets.  She immediately began the search for something to tuck into hers, but Kindergarten has rules and in Kindergarten you can only bring toys on Friday for Show and Tell (oh, the world gets so mean as you grow up!).

Thinking quickly, I piped up, "I can put a little heart in your pocket."  We dashed into my room, pulled out the arts and crafts bin, rifled around for some orange and pink paper and cut out 2 tiny hearts.  I whipped out my pencil and wrote, "I love you.  Love, Mommy"  We slipped them in.

"Yeah!" shouted Aida.  "This way, if I ever need to remind myself that you're coming back to get me, I can pull out my heart and remember."

Oh, melt my heart, little girl, this heart that beats love within and through and out of me each day for you and your sisters.

But how DID they get so big?

Lu, you're 2!

This girl

is a complete gift.

warming up those winter days

So it seems that we might be emerging from the gray chill of winter into the windy sort-of-warmth of spring.  Hallelujah! this wimpy Santa Barbara girl cries.  But we did have a fun way of bringing some light into the browns and grays of late January and early February.  I left the girls this little invitation:

They took it VERY seriously.  Fancy dress-up clothes were donned,

(and they insisted Mommy wear some, too - you should have seen me trying to wriggle into this tutu)

the tea set was put out and hot chocolate was procured,

and treats were enjoyed by all.

SOME of us got messier than others - 

but we all had plenty of fun.  And the best part?  That evening, after Daddy got home from work, 3 little messengers delivered this:

I love having little girls. (I also love their Daddy.)

making a little noise

So I've been quiet in this corner of the universe for awhile.  And there are many reasons for this.  My responsibilities have expanded, the number of minutes in each hour has not.  By the time we get the girls tucked in bed and the kitchen cleaned and lunches made and dogs attended to, bathrooms cleaned and grocery lists decoded and the news from downstairs blaring in my ears - well, I'm just really tired and not very likely to sit down at this silly computer and do much reflecting.  And a little bit of quiet seems attractive - no, necessary - in this new life we live.

Mostly, though, I'm finding it complicated to write about our life because it now involves 2 people who are grown adults, who I love very much, who deserve to have their dignity maintained and their privacy respected and a say about what gets written and posted about them on this World Wide Web.  (I suppose my children might argue the same thing about themselves some day!)  It feels inauthentic, though, to write about our life as if they aren't a part of it, and so sometimes it seems easier to just not write.

I miss it, though, this blogging thing.  I miss recording our sweet little life for friends and family and for my children to look back on.  I miss the way that writing about a difficult day gives me some perspective and makes it a bit easier to see God's hand in it all.  So I'm going to try to carve out some time here and there to visit this space.  No promises of a schedule or a certain number of posts per month.  Just the time, when I have it, to say thank you for this.

And this, too.

do not worry about tomorrow

Yesterday I found myself thinking ahead.  I've been doing that a lot lately.

To be honest, I have spent a great deal of my life doing it.  I know I'm not alone in this - it seems to be part of the human condition to look forward, to long for something else, or something more, to worry about what is to come, or to simply wonder (in anxiety or joyful anticipation) about the future.

And when I do that here, these days, I can start to feel overwhelmed, buried.  These things we're living with - the quirks of being a multi-generational family and Alzheimer's and I know what that looks like today but what in the world will it look like in 2 weeks or 2 months or maybe even 2 years - they can pummel me like an ocean wave (Goleta tar and seaweed and all) until I'm left gasping, spitting out salty water and rubbing sandy eyes, straining desperately to discover which way is up.

Yesterday, God spoke a quiet word to me.  "Today."  Be here today.  Just be here now.  Don't worry about tomorrow, and by the way, My grace is sufficient for you.

What a tragedy it would be to let the fog of my worries about tomorrow obscure the beauty of today.

And so I breathed in and out and looked around me.  Here is what I found:

Muddy fingers and dirt-smeared cheeks.
A beloved blonde head glinting in the sunlight.
Twin sisters running through golden leaves, hair streaming behind them and strong legs racing.
A profile I love, freckled nose and little round chin.
An old man's smile, and his wife's laugh.
Food in the oven, and then on the table.
Eyes that behold me with love and honor.
A strong hand giving my own one last squeeze before I close my eyes and sleep.  In peace.

Here is where my life is, right here, right now.  God, in Your mercy, don't let me miss it.

counting my blessings

6 precious feet
30 beloved toes
3 sweet sisters giving their toys a bath in the sink
1 incredibly blessed life

for Katie Jo

This post is dedicated to Katie, Sarah, Christine, Carrie (Oh, how we miss you!), Kristin, KK, and Josh.

When I was in high school my friends used to make fun of me because I'm not much of an animal person.  What kind of a person doesn't like puppies? they'd tease.  And I would insist that I didn't NOT like them, I just liked people better.  And then they'd laugh because, well, the double negative wasn't all that convincing.  One of my dear, fabulous, funny friends - Katie - had a crazy puppy named Pepper who did not help my case.  I probably could have done without all of the barking, jumping, licking, furry, in your face madness that Pepper added to the many days and nights we spent at Katie's house.  Okay, I know I could have done without it.

I recently turned 30 (and I thought about blogging about it and being all reflective and stuff, but let's be honest here, I am barely putting one foot in front of the other these days) and Katie wrote a sweet note that included the line: "Maybe 30 is the year where you get a dog?"

Well, guess what, Katie?  I have not only 1 dog now, but 2!!!  And guess who gets to feed them?!?!

Life is funny sometimes.

So, this is Blue Girl:

And this is Bella:

 Bella reminds me of Pepper in some ways.  I especially love to watch her when she's tearing after the family of wild turkeys that lives in the woods around our house.  Running turkeys are hilarious.  Some people might think that's mean, but you know me.  I'm not a huge animal person - I just don't NOT like them.

(But I sure do love these people.)

 (Isn't Lu's hair awesome here?)

 (Love love love this girl.  And her mouthful of food.)