remembering

2 years ago today I went to the hospital, very newly pregnant, writhing in pain and scared out of my mind that what I knew was happening was actually happening.  The next day I came home, missing a fallopian tube and missing the child we never had a chance to meet.

In the time since, God has brought healing, peace, and a beautiful, healthy, precious daughter - the best gift.  I don't wish that things were different.  But today I have still been hit with, and surprised by, the grief.  I am trying to live in it, to let myself feel it and know that it will fade, to kiss my babies and thank God for the beautiful souls He has placed in my life and to miss the one I have yet to meet.