a parent's prayer

Today was one of those days, the kind where my children have pushed every button and I have failed in countless ways. This humbling kind of day is good, though - it reminds me of how much I stink at life when I try to do it on my own. This day led me back to this prayer, which I needed and will add to my morning prayers. And that is a good thing.

O Heavenly Father, make me a better parent.

Teach me to understand my children, to listen patiently to what they have to say, and to answer all their questions kindly.

Keep me from interrupting them or contradicting them. Make me as courteous to them as I would have them be to me.

Forbid that I should ever laugh at their mistakes or resort to shame or ridicule when they displease me.

May I never punish them for my own selfish satisfaction or to show my power.

Let me not tempt my children to lie or steal.

And guide me hour by hour that I may demonstrate by all that I say and do that honesty produces happiness.

Reduce, I pray, the meanness in me. And when I'm out of sorts, help me, O Lord, to hold my tongue.

May I ever be mindful that my children are children and I should not expect of them the judgement of adults.

Let me not rob them of the opportunity to wait on themselves and to make decisions.

Bless me with the bigness to grant them all their reasonable requests and the courage to deny them privileges I know will do them harm.

Make me fair and just and kind and fit, O Lord, to be loved and respected and imitated by my children. Amen.

-from "Making God Real in the Orthodox Christian Home"

playin' in the rain

Every part of me wanted to say, "No." I may have even half-heartedly breathed the word.

Aida had just said, "Mommy, I want to go outside."

Of course, my children had steadfastly refused as I had practically begged them to go outside yesterday when it was 77 degrees and lovely outside. Today, it had dropped 20 degrees in an hour and was raining. I wanted to say, "No." But then a little voice in my head said, "Why not?" I want to be a Mommy who lets my children play in the rain, who cultivates in them a sense of creativity and spontaneity and gratitude for every blessing. It's not always easy (convenient, conventional, painless) to be that kind of a parent. But I had just been presented with an opportunity. I wanted to take it. So I let my girlies put on their rainboots, grabbed our coats, and we headed outside.

It was so much fun. The girls got soaked. We tracked 600 leaves and a gallon of water into my mudroom. I put Aida and Sophie into a warm, deep bubble bath and let them soak for a half hour. We had vanilla chai and graham crackers and snuggled on the couch waiting for Daddy to get home.

It was the perfect way to spend an afternoon - much better than sitting around inside, staring at each other. And it was a good reminder to me that I need to just go with it, go with it, justbe present in each moment, sending up prayers of gratitude for each sweet moment, rain or shine.

in which I explain myself

Well, dear ones, I am here to try again. After abandoning our other blog at the beginning of 2010, I finally decided to jump back on that wagon. But after some thought, I decided to create a whole new wagon. My hope is that this blog will, on a (somewhat) day-to-day basis, chronicle the small joys of our little life as a family.

My inspiration came from 3 places:

1. We had the chance to visit with some dear family friends during our summer trip to California. At the time, he was dying of cancer. As I sat in my parents' house that day and watched him with his wife, I thought about the strength of their love, tried and tested. I thought about their children, boys who would be losing a father much too early. I thought about my own hurts and heartaches, and how sometimes they seem to overshadow everything else. And then I watched as she deliberately chose to sit next to him on the couch, his arm around her, her hand on his knee. I thought about expressing love in little moments like this, about treasuring the good that God has given us - living life with the belief that each day is precious. Since then, he has passed away. May his memory be eternal.

2. Our priest here has given me some advice. He has reminded me (more than once) that the antidote to despair, to jealousy, to selfishness and self-centeredness and greed and pretty much all of the things I find myself battling in some form or another, is gratitude. So I plan to be grateful for the small joys and minor triumphs. I want to record some of them here. Which leads to my final inspiration...

3. I want to create a record - for my family and friends both far and near, for myself and for my children - of the joys of our days and the gifts that God has given us. Simple as that.

Oh, I have been given so much. And I am grateful.

P.S. If you've made it this far...I promise not to be so wordy on a regular basis. Tune in on Monday for something much shorter and sweeter.