I am 3 weeks away from the point at which my first girls were born.
I am frantic, and frantically trying not to be that way.
Those darn Braxton-Hicks contractions, which I've been having for over 2 months now, are upping their frequency. And while I know it is most likely a genetic trait (thanks, Mom!) that causes my uterus to tighten with such regularity these days and not a signal of impending premature labor, I also know that I need to slow down. Take a deep breath - or 20. Start to let things go.
Spring cleaning? Not happening here this year. (Baseboards, you get a few more seasons to be disgusting.) Pruning the boxwoods and planting petunias? Probably not. The front of our house will be okay even if it must be flowerless this year. Decorate the baby's room?...we'll see.
And all of the church services that usher us into this beautiful and difficult season of Lent? Well, we may or may not make it. My heart aches to be there - especially because we missed them all last year, when Lent was our own season of grief and healing at home - but my body (and my husband!) remind me that this just may not be the season for that.
A song that we sing in the atrium at Church with our 3-6 year olds has been continually running through my head this past week, repeating one of my favorite lines from Psalm 46 - "Be still and know that I am God." I'm not always great at being still. But this is my time to do just that - to soak in these moments with my girls, to seek to slow down time rather than rush it away, to commend my soul and my body (and my worries) to God.
Pray for me, friends, and I'll pray for you. I've got some extra time to do that these days. :)
5 comments:
praying for you all, every day. lots of love!
I hear you on the Braxton-Hicks, dear Niece! Makes it crazy trying to figure out if they're the "real" thing, when they come so regularly! Just taking care of your two girls will bring those on, so - yes, slow down on the other things. Wish I was there to help! We're all excited for your newest addition to arrive! :)
Some day you will be old and gray, and unless you do something crazy like your Mom and Dad and adopt in your old age, THAT will be the time that you can fully participate in all the Church services all year long. Until then, your sacrifice is to do what must be done to keep you and your children safe and healthy. So, put those feet up, take a long rest as often as possible, and serve God with personal prayers. I love you so much, sweetheart, and I am so sorry to have passed on such an annoying and scary trait! Rest in the arms of Jesus.
Much love,
Mommy
If you want some help planting flowers, or dusting baseboards, or decorating, just let me know! I'd love to help and have an excuse to hang out!
...when He is strong.
Yes, Jesus loves you...
and so do I.
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